Friday, December 31, 2010


Barbara J. Galasso

I am the king of all dogs; therefore you shall not have other dogs before me!

You shall not have any pictures, statues, magazines, videos of any other breed of dog besides that of the German Shepherd Dog. I am a jealous breed and no other breed shall share this house with me.

You shall not call me bad names or curse at me when you get mad. You shall respect me at all times for I am a German Shepherd Dog after all.

You shall not enter me in any dog shows or working trials on a Sunday as this is my day of rest. Train me, teach me, show me six days a week if you like, but the seventh day is mine to do what I want, lay around all I want, and eat and play all day as I want. Don’t expect me to work on Sundays!

Honor my mother and father if you own them by not over breeding them. Give them a
break once in awhile.

I shall not kill thy neighbors one and a half pounds of yippy pain in the hind end, sorry excuse for a dog……..(well that is when anyone is looking anyway)!

You should not breed me to more than one stud dog or brood bitch in my lifetime. So choose wisely because one mate for life is my new motto and there’s not room for discussion!

I shall not steal my kennel mates bones, toys, food or bed or my master’s affections!

I shall not let the cat take the scolding for stealing the food that was left out on the counter. Nor shall I let him be blamed for the mess of shredded toilet tissue on the floor no matter how much I want him to!

I shall not desire better food, a softer bed, a bigger house, a bigger car, a better dog handler like the dogs in the kennel down the street from me. I must learn to accept my humble upbringing and ignore my selfish desires.

And on my death bed, please call a German Shepherd judge of extreme integrity so I can make my last confession before I leave this earth......I confess it was me that ruined the carpet and not the cat. It was me that trampled all over the flower garden and not the stray dog. It was me that bit Billy Ray and not the Doberman Pinscher that lives next door. It was me that stole the new baby’s stuffed toy and not his sister Lilly Mae. It was me that threw up in the back seat of the car and not the puppy sitting next to me.

If I live by these rules as my way of life, then I am assured a place in doggy Heaven. If not I’ll be thrown in the fires of hell with all sorts of alley cats or yippy dogs to torment me through eternity....and no German Shepherd Dog should ever have to endure that!

My rating: Even a dog needs rules to live be: (4)

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