I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS

I woke up this morning and the sun is shining here in New York.  It’s a crisp 52 degrees and the weather is comfortable for the dogs that are lying on my back porch.  I poured myself a cup of coffee and turned the computer on to see what was happening with my Shepherd friends.  Some people are still talking about club business, others talking about litters or shows that they’ve been to.  Some I read, some I delete.  Same old, same old I say to myself.  Then I open the letter with the subject line saying “Wednesday Morning” because I see it’s from my friend Dawn. 

I start to read the e-mail and the first line I read is about this little sable ball of fur.  I knew it was going to be downhill from there.  Dawn’s beautiful “Kizzy” had passed away.  She knew it was just a matter of time.  She had been ill for a little while now and everyday she was here was a blessing for her loving owner.  I won’t elaborate anymore here about the beautiful “Kizzy.”  I’ve asked Dawn when she’s up to it, to write her story for I knew that I would not be able to do her justice.  I would only be able to skip around the perimeters of this wonderful dog’s life.  I know of no one that could do her more justice than her owner who she shared her life with. 

                                                                          

People that are not “in the know” question us who love our dogs like they are part of the family……..they think we have a tendency to “humanize” them too much.  How can they even question or comment about the relationship that man has with his dog when they have never known this special “unlike any other love” that we dog owners are privileged to share?  They are right in one way.  Dogs are not human.  And that in itself makes them so special.  They have truly been blessed with having the biggest of hearts filled with an undying love for his master.  They love blindly, unselfishly, and with the purest of all loves that man could ever hope to have.  Truly not to know what it feels like to have the love from a dog, man is depriving himself of the most perfect love that God has sent to us! 

The dog says so much without ever uttering a word.  I once read somewhere that love is a verb…..an action.  And so indeed with the dog it truly is.  For he cannot tell us how he feels like some empty words a person may whisper in your ear while deceiving you behind your back.  He is constantly showing us how he feels.  He can’t tell you “I love you” so he must show you that he loves you.  He must be demonstrative in order for him to convey that his love is true.  So truly the old saying, “actions speak louder than words” was indeed written for the dog because his actions are his unspoken words!

Sharing your life with a dog can only enrich it.  There is so much to learn from these marvelous animals.  They are only here for a short time and have only been sent to us for one reason and that I believe is to teach us how to love.  Every single one of them is a gift and if we never open that gift because we left him in a kennel or tied him up to a tree, then I believe we have insulted the sender of that package of fur.  How many of us are wealthy enough to throw away love?  It is there for our taking if we open up our hearts for it.

Dogs know how to make a fool of themselves and never make an apology for it.  They know how to have fun and play without asking our permission to do it.  They know how to enjoy life.  They are ever playful no matter what age they are.  They invite us to be a kid again!  They truly have a “forget your troubles, come on get happy” type of attitude.  They truly don’t take life too seriously.  Aren’t they lucky that they don’t know how to worry?  They are sent to us to be a distraction from worry.  They remind us it’s alright to let our inhibitions down and to let loose once in awhile. 

Every time that an animal is destroyed in a shelter, every time an animal dies at the hands of his abuser, every time he is left to starve, we have prevented love from being on this earth.  The more we destroy love, the more the doors are open for hate, evil and injustice.  No time in recent history is this earth in need of more love.  Will owning a dog change the world?  Maybe not over night, but I bet that a dog can soften some of the hardest of hearts.  Not all can be reached, but some just need to know what it feels like receiving the purest form of love with no expectations.  I may be philosophical here, but love is really the most basic of needs that man has besides food, water and shelter.   Not everyone will meet that love of their life, but it doesn’t mean that they can’t experience what it feels like to know love.  Dog’s primary purpose on this earth is to be with man.  If man keeps destroying the very thing that he most needs in a corrupt world, then pretty soon there won’t be anymore love to go around.  Dogs are love! 

Want to know what love is?  Go get yourself a puppy and experience some puppy breath and kisses laid upon you.  Adopt a senior dog that has the wisdom of his short life in those big brown eyes of his and go share your secrets with him.  All he asks for is a gentle stroke of your hand upon his head letting him know that he stills has a purpose here on earth. 

Dogs know how to forgive and let go.  They don’t know the first thing about what a grudge is.  If you give them the second best of everything and keep the best for yourself, he won’t remind you of it at a later time.  He’s just happy you thought enough of him to give him anything at all. 

If we live in a chaotic confused world, it’s because we have made it that way.  Want a stress reliever?  Next time you reach for the Xanax, put a leash around your dog’s neck and take him for a walk instead.  You’ll both sleep better.

From the book:  "LOVE:  WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT"......This book is about love. What it is and what it isn't. It is about you--and about everybody who has ever reached out to touch the heart of another. Among many other lessons of the heart, Leo Buscaglia reminds us: Love is open arms. If you close your arms about love you will find that you are left holding only yourself.

My rating:   Living your life with and being loved by a dog:  (4)

THE IMPORTANCE OF HUMAN TOUCH

The most basic needs besides food, shelter and water is the need for love and affection. The human baby needs it as well as a puppy needs it. In fact all the animal kingdom has the need for the mother’s touch from the moment he’s born. The domesticated dog is a pack animal. If he were still in the wild, you wouldn’t find him roaming by himself. He would be part of a social structure in a pact of dogs. Determination where he would be found in that social structure would be evident quite early in his development. There would only be room for one alpha dog and the rest would be subservient to him.

In a pact of dogs it is not uncommon to see them play with one another for their need to touch is strongly developed from birth. They can be found curling up together when they sleep. They communicate with their noses by smelling one another and touching one another. A puppy that loses his mother at an early age many times has developmental problems and can be sickly. It’s through the mothers touch whether it be loving or firm that she teaches her puppy the ways of the world.

When we touch our dogs we are sending them all sorts of signals just like if they were still in a pact. Our touch can be loving and accepting or firm and disapproving. We show our dogs love by the way that we touch them. All dogs enjoy being petted, some more than others. But still the dog looks for approval from his master and stroking him in a positive way affirms this approval. On the other hand our touch can send the dog signals that we are not approving of what he may be doing. In a litter of puppies, the mother dog may pick up her puppy by the ruff of the neck and move him away from something that she may not want him by. She may nudge him with her nose to let him know that he’s being naughty. And if she really gets upset with him, she may even give him a warning bite.

So communication through touch is very important and an essential part of the dogs development. But it’s even more than this. It is a way the dog feels connected to and loved by his owner. I wonder how connected and loved kennel dogs feel. If a dog is left in a kennel 24 hours a dog with little or no human contact besides being fed and watered, a very important part of that dogs’ development has been stunted. He never realizes his full potential as a German Shepherd Dog. Then he can become hand shy because he doesn’t trust being touched.

Touch is a way of communicating with the dog. Our touch can tell the dog whether we love them or not. It tells them whether or not we approve of something that he is doing. Our touch teaches, chastises, and can sometimes feel good and other times not so good depending upon what we are communicating to our dog.

Have you ever given your dog a massage? I have and they love it. Although I must confess I haven’t done it for awhile. Since my car accident my own arthritic body prevents me doing these loving gestures as much as I would like to do. Too bad they couldn’t be trained to give me a massage. Sigh! Some dogs however, like some people are more sensitive to too much manipulation of the muscles and tendons. A gentle touch is always advisable.

Just watch when you scratch and massage a dog’s back. Look how he does a little dance around the floor as you are doing this to his body. He can’t seem to hold still. That’s how good it feels to him. If you lay him on the floor, most of the time he’ll enjoy his legs and chest being rubbed. I even used to massage their toes. Some like this and some don’t but for the ones that do, it seems to totally relax them.

It would only make sense that if we get tired, achy muscles and joints so does the dog. You’ll see him rolling in the grass scratching his back with his legs kicking out in all directions. He’s feeling good. He’s feeling uninhibited joy!

The dog looks to us for approval and acceptance. His need to please us is endless. He knows that when he pleases us that he will get love and attention from us. Who ever said the dog was stupid?

Years ago I volunteered at a local hospital. I wanted to work with children. I was assigned to the ward with children that had just been operated on and I was to read to them, or play games with them. I signed up to work with the newborn babies. This was a special program whereas they had volunteers just holding and loving the newborns because they may have lost their mother or their mother may have been too sick to take care of the baby. They explained to us the need of the newborn for the mother’s touch for without it the child would have developmental and emotional problems.

In many cultures throughout the world, touch has been known to be vital to the development of young infants. In more recent times it has become evident that the power of touch in illness and health has helped to reduce stress, brain formation and the development of attachment. The same thing is true for our canine friends. Without early socialization of puppies, they don’t develop attachments to people. Many times this is the reason for people shy young dogs and fear biters.

So as important as food, water and shelter are to the well being of a dog, the importance of touch for his mental and emotional development is just as important for him to live a healthy life. The dog that is touched, petted, scratched, rubbed or massaged is a very happy and loved dog indeed!


From the book: TO TOUCH IS TO LIVE......For babies to develop normally, they must be touched. Adults, too, thrive when touch is a normal part of their each day: a reassuring handshake, a sympathetic hug, a healing massage. But how often do we permit ourselves or others these simple forms of contact: physical touch, our emotional presence, spiritual communion? We need to get more in touch--closer to who we really are as a species, and in ways that support our highest human potential. Touching can be communication, friendship, kindness, service, or love for God. Topics include: * The highest human need * The roots of violence and abuse. * Acquisitions: a substitute for touch * Healing through touch. * A healthy model of sexuality. * Touch as a context for our lives. Foreword by Ashley
Montagu.


My rating: socialization of puppies: (4), importance of touch: (4)