BIG BOYS DON'T CRY - OR DO THEY?

Being a part of the Facebook community allows us to make friendships with people that most of us will never meet in person. But everyday we invite these strangers into our living rooms to share a piece of our lives with them and them with us. It's a comfortable environment. We can pour ourselves a cup of coffee and lounge around in our pajamas without having to get a robe to cover up. We get a peek into their relationships both good and bad. Sometimes they share too much information, but some feel this is a good way for them to vent their frustrations and disappointments. There also are lots of good news........babies born, engagements announced, birthdays celebrated, etc. Then there are the deaths and those that are grieving for their lost loved ones. Well yesterday one of these loses came across on my screen. This was from a man who seems extremely popular and well liked if the number of responses he gets from people everyday is any indicator of this. I don't know him personally, but by reading his posts everyday, I feel I know a little something about him. We share his life through his pictures he shares with us and his words he writes on his posts. You can tell this man has a lot of love in his heart for those that are in his life and his beloved dogs. They say every picture tells a story and in his case this is very true. The picture that he posted yesterday will remain in my memory for a very long time.

Most people think of women as being the ones that can share their pain and express their emotions more easily than a man does. I mean we are raised in a culture that applauds the hero in men, the strong, the noble.....the "men don't cry" persona. You know the mind set......big boys don't cry! Well yesterday, this man's picture blew that mind set out of the water! His picture showed just two faces, two faces with their heads laying down on the floor. The man had his head touching his dog's head. A picture of a man and his dying dog stared back at me. The black eyes against the dark fur with a blank look in her eyes and the sorrowful eyes of the man who was saying good bye to his beloved dog was a picture of unquestionable love. "Good bye my friend, good bye a part of my heart" spoke to me from that page. We shared in his sorrow. We knew that we were looking at a very special bond with a man and his dog. He shared with us his vulnerability; unashamed of his sorrowful heart. Although it was very heartbreaking knowing the pain he was suffering, it was also very beautiful seeing this man share his softer side. I say that because I look at all his pictures and he seems like a macho type of guy. He trains his dogs and shares those pictures with us as well. They are so beautifully trained and cared for and loved. He handles and loves his puppies with a loving, gentle but firm hand. We see pictures of him and his love who he just became engaged to. We see him and his sons and his grandchildren. This is a man who is loving his life and has much to be thankful for. But it's the loss of his very special dog that brings him to his knees.

When there are times when our hearts are heavy, it seems that it's just you and your beloved dog against the world. He's got your back covered. When he's no longer there, it's just your memories that get you through. For all the times that you cried, he was there to lick away your tears and reassure you when you didn't feel so sure yourself that all would be alright. He never left your side. It's when he has to leave your side that you may feel alone against the world. But if you watched the lessons that your dog taught you throughout his short life, you will take that love into all the other areas and relationships in your life. You see once you've decided to own and love a dog, your heart no longer belongs to you. You've just signed up for 10 - 15 years of unquestionable love, but nothing can prepare us for when that purity of love is taken from us. They may have taught us how to love, but they never taught us how to say goodbye!

You may ask how can one of God's creatures that is not another human being do this to us? To ask that question would mean you never shared your heart and life with a dog. If you view the dog as "just a dog" than you missed the whole point of that animal coming into your life to begin with. It is this writers belief that the dog is one of God's angels on this earth. If you own a dog and you miss that, you've missed one of life's greatest mysteries. There is no other purpose for them to be here. Sure you can train them, use them for herding, protection, breeding, etc. If you miss the point that dogs are pure love and I mean pure love because of their desire to only be with man, then you have missed the opportunity that has been given to you. This is why I feel that they are here such a short time on earth. They are here to teach man about loving and if you ignore it, you've denied yourself the most beautiful of all emotions, the most beautiful of all gifts. If you just breed them for the champions that they may produce or the dust collecting trophies that you may accumulate than you have used the dog for your own glory instead of the blessings that has been bestowed on you for even being in their presence. They are angels. You can be sure of that. They can do no bad unless they are ignored and forgotten about. Then you are left with a dog that is angry at you for not recognizing his real purpose here on earth. Listen to what he is saying to you without his capability to utter a single word. If you don't know that love is standing in front of you and if you've ignored it, then you've ignored that angel that was sent to you. Think dog spelled backwards is God is a coincidence? If you believe that God is love and loves unconditionally, then the dog that he has sent to you is indeed a Heavenly gift.

So I'm sure this man on Facebook will compose himself and continue to love the rest of his dogs, but he'll never forget the girl he just said goodbye to. He's acknowledged the fact that she was love. He said that she was his beginning. She took a part of his heart to Heaven with her where it will be written in the Book of Life.........this man knows how to love. Good night "Mocha," your time on earth was well spent! You did what you came here to do. Your master was touched by an angel and he'll never be quite the same again!


From the book: GOODBYE FRIEND: HEALING WISDOM FOR ANYONE WHO HAS EVER LOST A PET: For pet lovers, the loss of a cherished pet ranks almost as high as the loss of a close family member in terms of grief experienced. In Goodbye, Friend, Gary Kowalski takes you on a journey of healing offering warmth, guidance, and practical advice on how to deal effectively with death by honoring your animal companion's life. A superb and comforting book for both adults and children.

My rating: Dealing with the loss of a dog: (1 - 4).....there are stages we all must go through to it through it!

IS ANYBODY KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR?

So well known breeder calls me yesterday as the night before we got cut off in our conversation as one of her bitches started whelping a litter. We chatted about the new litter. I asked her about the older litter of two pups and her other litter by her Select Champion bitch bred to a top Select Champion male. She tells me that she sold the whole litter except for one she still has. “Oh I thought to myself, well that’s great.” I asked her what show homes some of her better ones went to. Her reply to me was, “What show homes? There all went in to pet homes!” “What do you mean you sold all of those pups into pet homes?” I questioned her. She said. “Barbara there is no show people knocking on my door to buy show puppies!” I’m thinking to myself, “How could this be with two superior parents?” Now this isn’t the first time that she has told me this. And she’s not alone. Another breeder friend tells me the same thing about her Select Bitches puppies. Her puppies sit and they sit with her until finally she’s left with several six month old puppies and she finds it harder to sell them now that they’ve lost their entire fluffy puppy coat.

So it got me to thinking, why are these breeders (or any breeders for that matter) spending literally thousands of dollars in preparation for a breeding when it really doesn’t matter anyway? If you don’t have the show homes for your show puppies to go into, why spend all that money on doing a breeding like this? Why not just breed to a local dog that’s a nice representative of the breed and save yourself money and the aggravation of looking for show homes for your puppies? If all of your puppies are going into pet homes anyway, then why not breed locally?

These breeders aren’t isolated cases. I hear this time and time again. People are not looking to buy show puppies. They’re not looking to pay more money for them. They are not looking to put the work into conditioning and showing them. They just want a loyal companion for their families. To compound and make matters worse, I read and hear that some breeders plan to stop showing all together.

Most breeders tell you that they breed for themselves. But ultimately most of their litters will go into pet homes. It’s just impossible to keep all of the good ones in any litter until they grow up. And who would want to anyway?

I would venture to say that famous stud dogs are being used less and less compared to just a few short years ago. Are breeders breeding any less? I don’t know. I believe the pet market will still be there for awhile, but I know that the show dog market is dwindling. There was a time when the better known breeders had their show puppies spoken for before they were even born. But even they are no longer hearing that familiar knock on their door.

I remember so many years ago in the German Shepherd Dog Review where people would take out two page ads on a new litter that they were advertising. I’ll never forget some breeder had pictures of all his top puppies from his litter displayed on those pages. I don’t remember who the litter was out of or who the breeder was, but let me tell you those puppies were breathtaking. I bet he had people knocking his doors down to buy one. I was a small breeder, but if I put an ad in the Review, I never had a problem selling my show quality puppies. Even if I owned now the same top quality bitch as I did then, I don’t think I’d have anyone lining up outside of my door. The times they have changed!

So it certainly isn’t the lack of well bred litters that are available. It’s the lack of interest in those well bred litters. It’s just the lack of interest PERIOD! I’m going to venture to say, it’s not just in the show dog community. I had someone recently say to me (non-show dog person), that he honestly could say that he knows very few happy people today. “How sad is that” I thought to myself. But you know what, when I stopped to think about it, he wasn’t too far off the mark. So this atmosphere of the doldrums doesn’t just exist in the show dog world community. It’s something in the air. I guess it would be selfish of us to ask people to “lighten up, buy yourself a show quality puppy when they can barely pay their mortgages. Spend your money from your already overly abused checking account to show her. Take out a loan to breed her. Can’t sell her puppies into show homes? “Sorry “ain’t” my problem.”

You know each generation always says that they’re glad that they lived in the times that they lived in. I don’t know if that will hold true for this generation or not. It’s yet to be seen. A friend and I were just talking about this last night. We both concluded that we lived in some of the best times in the show dog community……the 70’s and 80’s. The entries were huge. The crowds were thick with multi-generations of top breeders. The Review kept you entertained all month long until the next one made its appearance in your mail box. There was no internet, but we kept AT&T happy and wealthy calling coast to coast to our breeder friends. The dog show parties were abundant. A match show could be found most ever other week-end. Dog clubs were active. I loved the era that I came from in the dog show community.

So I don’t know how many of you reading this has people knocking your doors down to get one of your show quality puppies. I truly wonder how much longer they’ll be a market for those well bred show quality puppies. Will show puppies become a thing of the past? Will all puppies born go into pet homes? Will the champion stud dogs be left to wonder why he's not "entertaining the ladies" any longer?


My rating: The importance of breeding to a champion show dog: (1 - 4), Availability of show quality puppies: (4), Availability of show homes: (1 - 2)

WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, WOULD HE REALLY PROTECT YOU?

Several months ago, a breeder friend of mine said that not all dogs will bite and that you can’t teach them to do so. Hmmmm, I found that statement interesting. Then last week, she made the same statement to me again. She works with a trainer who not only trains the American bred dog, but many German dogs as well. So once again when my curiosity gets challenged, I knew I needed to do some research about this subject.

Owning German Shepherds, we all assume that we have some of the best protection dogs on the earth. How many times have we said that “I just know that Rocky would protect me with his life?” But would he? Just because he’s a German Shepherd and he growls and shows his teeth doesn’t mean he will bite someone. Most dogs will avoid confrontation and go the other way.

Temperament and prey drive have a lot to do with the dogs ability to protect its master. So all of this got me to thinking of my own dogs and some of the dogs that I’ve owned in the past. Most of my show dogs would not have attacked anyone because they were well socialized from an early age and assumed that most people were friendly and not to be avoided. However, I did own a “Hammer” daughter that I KNEW would protect me. She came to my defense a couple of times and was very protected towards me. She wasn’t a noisy dog or made a lot of commotion. She just quietly watched. I had a professional trainer who wanted to buy one of her sons. He asked to see the mother and he came at her with a cape that he wrapped around himself and started towards her waving it and coming at me. She hit the end of that lead and was ready to “rock and roll” with this guy! When he was finished with the threatening behavior, he walked over to us in a calm, non-excitable way and petted her on the head and told me, “Now that’s a great mind.”

So just what type of dog is the type that bites, and is it true that not all dogs can be trained to bite? According to my research, based on the dog’s temperament, there are four types of prey drive. They are: prey drive, defensive drive, fight drive and avoidance. Because some dogs have not inherited the necessary drive, he can not be used for protection work. I found this information interesting. It says that we must understand that prey drive is inherited and has nothing to do with the breed of dog or his training. In other words, just because a dog is a German Shepherd, does not mean he will bite.

Prey drive: The prey drive can be seen in a young puppy as early as 6 weeks of age. What is prey drive? It is the desire to run and chase something that is moving and to grab it and shake it once he gets it. This is the same thing when a dog gets older and he chases a ball or a Frisbee or plays tug of war. The prey drive is a comfortable drive for the dog to be in. He doesn’t feel threatened. The dog is not nervous or stressed. Usually his tail is wagging and he’s happy.

Defensive drive: When one is considering a dog for police work, protection work or Schutzhund work, the dog must have a strong defensive drive. What does the defensive drive mean? This is the drive for the dog to protect itself against a potential threat. This is when the dog feels stressed when he feels that he will be attacked. This too (according to my research) is an inherited factor in the dog’s willingness to protect itself. This too is not something that can be trained into the dog, no matter how much you try. This is not the type of dog that would ever be considered for protection or police work. You can’t make the lab or golden retriever be a biting, protection dog. It’s not in their genes to be so. Although they may bark, they will avoid the confrontation and go the other way. Interestingly enough, even if a dog has inherited the defensive gene, the defensive drive does not appear until puberty. This means that he may be a year old before his defensive drive is developed but not fully until he reaches mentally maturity which can take up to three years of age. When the dog is in defensive drive, his body language is much different than it was in prey drive. His tail is no longer wagging happily, but is lower. His growl and bark is now deeper.

Fight drive: This is the drive of the dog as the interaction of prey and defense where he carries the forwardness of prey with the intensity of defense. This is the type of dog who carries himself with a great deal of self confidence in all environments and circumstances. This is the dog that does not look or act nervous or insecure. Again, according to my research, good genetics and proper training is the only way to bring out the fight drive in the dog. Dogs with good prey drive and a dominate temperament usually develop the best fight drive.

Avoidance: When a situation gets too intense for the dog, he will avoid it and retreat. This is called avoidance. Now some dogs may hesitate in a certain situation. This is fine. He’s checking out the thing that is causing him stress, but is not running away from it. The dog who is an avoidance state of mind, tugs his tail, ears are held back, hair may rise up on its back and he turns and runs. Some dogs may act a little confused, but they’re not afraid. They are not tucking their tails and running.

There are several different personalities that a dog can have: aggressive – extremely dominate and can be provoked into biting. Many of these types of dogs resist human leadership. They need constant training. Confident – he is dominate and self assured and can be provoked to bite. This type of dog fits in best where he respects the owner and he too needs consistent training. Outgoing – he is friendly and sociable and usually adapts to different environments. These dogs make good family pets, and not necessarily good watch dogs. Adaptable – these dogs normally have a more submissive behavior and looks for his owner to be the leader. He’s normally a gentle and loving companion as a pet animal. Insecure – this dog is extremely insecure, shy, submissive and lacking in self confidence. He requires constant companionship and reassurance from his owners. This is not a dog that will protect you, rather a dog who is looking to be protected. Independent – this is a dog that doesn’t really need anyone except to cater to his need for food, water and shelter. He doesn’t bond with anyone and is not an affectionate dog. He has a low need for human companionship.

Some dogs may be biters without any training and without being provoked. The aggressive dog is the dog that will bite anyone. However, this is the type of dog that makes lawyers wealthy and its owners poor. This is the type of dog that can get his owners into serious trouble through lawsuits. This is not a dog with a healthy mind. Then the fear biter is the dog who is going to get you before you get him. This is the dog you don’t want to corner, because he will bite out of fear that you will hurt him. Neither one of these dogs are protecting their owner. One does it because genetically he’s inferior to the healthy calm steady nerves of the genetically sound animal. The other is a genetic mess and a time bomb waiting to explode.

Will all dogs bite? Not according to my research and not according to my friend who spiked my interest in this subject to begin with. So from what I’ve learned not all German Shepherds will protect you. Not all German Shepherds can be trained to bite. Those who can be trained are genetically bred to do so. They are the dogs who have very sound minds with steady, calm nerves. Some dogs just make good pets and family dogs. Some dogs that are born aggressive or fearful really aren’t good for anyone. You don’t need to train these dogs to bite. It’s already in their genetic code. These are not the types of dogs anyone can trust. A good protection dog is one the owner can trust and one that he’s not fearful of himself. Therefore, excellent genetics and excellent training go hand in hand in raising a dog that has a healthy, sound mind and is worthy of being called a German Shepherd.

So if someone broke into your home, would your dog attack the intruder? Would he continue to attack the intruder if the “bad guy” raised his hand to hit him with something and was yelling at him in a loud threatening voice? Would your dog continue to attack or would he back away once he was threatened?

My rating: importance of genetics: (4), importance of training: (4), importance of socialization; (4), importance of a dog that will protect you: (4)