Thursday, January 14, 2010


Ever notice while standing at an overly long check out line at a grocery store how many people are thumbing through a magazine? By the time they get to the counter, they’ve gone through the whole magazine, placed it back on the rack and they just got themselves free reading material and it didn’t cost them a dime? Then the next person, who comes along, picks up the very same magazine, pays for it and has now just bought herself a used publication, smudged fingerprints and all!

Ever notice that when you breed to the number one producing stud dog in the country, a fellow breeder “friend” will say to you, “Why’d you breed to that dog? The market is overflowing with his puppies. No one is going to want something from that litter.” Then when she breeds to the very same dog, she’ll say, “I have puppies out of the top producing dog in the breed. Do you know what his puppies are worth?”

Ever notice when your dog loses, how your “friend” might say, “Oh you poor thing, but that was a really nice bitch that beat yours. Better luck next time!” Then when your “friend” shows her dog and loses to the very same bitch, she talks a different tune. “Did you see how that dog was lifting from the elbow? What a piece of junk! That was a set up job if I ever seen one! I should have known better than show here. That exhibitor and judge are the best of friends!”

Ever notice that when your “friend” is showing her dog that she expects and demands that you clap and scream for her dog by coming over to you and saying “Don’t forget to clap for my dog.” Then when you show your dog in one of the classes at the same show, the air is so quiet and still save for your own weak slapping of your hands together. When you ask your “friend” how come she didn’t applaud for your dog, she tells you, “Oh, I forgot.”

Ever notice if your “friends” dog spooks from the judge, she turns scarlet red and says her dog is having a bad day and that it can happen to the best of them. When your dog does the same thing, your “friend” tells you she wouldn’t give your dog kennel space!

Ever notice that a mediocre or even just an “alright kind of dog” if owned by a top breeder and pushed by a top handler can convince owners of great bitches to breed to him and dictate the style of dogs for generations to come? The better quality dog might live right down the street, but if not owned by the big shot or shown by the top handler may just get overlooked. Then notice too, that for years to come the breed will be either over angulated in the rear and then years later, the all breed dog is suddenly popular again. You scratch your head and wonder why the standard was ever written in the first place!

Ever notice when people are running for office in the club, a friendly hand is extended and a big “pearly white mouth of teeth” glistens in the sunshine just begging for your vote. This is the guy who wouldn’t normally give you the time of day and all of a sudden he’s become your best friend. He hands you a cigar, you share a few puffs, and then you listen to his “If I was elected to office, you can be assured that I’d…….yada, yada, yada!” Then after you help him get elected, the next time you see him at a show, you approach him extending your hand for a shake and ask if he has any of those Cuban cigars anymore. He looks at your hand with disdain and almost yells, “What do you think I’m made of money or something, boy?” as he walks away whispering to himself, “Just who the hell does he think he is anyway?”

Ever notice if you buy an imported dog, your “friend” will snicker and say, “Why did you go and spend that kind of money on a roach backed dog? Nope, nope, nope, I wouldn’t want that in my breeding program. A couple years go by and this same “friend” is all excited to show you HER newest import. With her head held high, she exclaims, “Do you know how much this dog from Germany cost me? I spent a fortune on him. You just wait and see how everybody knocks my doors down to breed to him! Do you know how valuable his puppies are going to be? With a quizzical look on your face, you’re wondering why her imported dog will be any more valuable than your imported dog.

Ever notice if you share with your “friend” that you just put a two page black and white ad in the German Shepherd Dog Review, she never really acknowledges what you said. Instead he tells you to look for her two page COLOR spread in the same issue. She goes on to tell you how she had it professionally done while you remember how many hours it took you to even get one page done.

Ever notice if you tell your “friend” that you just got off the telephone with a well known handler who has agreed to show your dog, your friend will tell you “Oh that handler is so yesterday. He’s over the hill. No one is using him anymore.” You scratch your head and question your own sanity. If your memory serves you right this “over the hill” handler just won back to back majors the week-end before!

Ever notice that if you do something one way, your “friend” just has to do it the other way? If you like an all black dog, she likes an all white dog. If you breed to an American champion, she’ll breed to an imported champion. If you feed holistic dog food, she’ll tell you all the reasons why you should be feeding a raw diet. If you win a Select title at the National, she has to win a Best in Show at an all-breed. If your bitch has met all the requirements for her ROM (register of merit) title, she has to make sure her bitch produces one or two more champions than your bitch did.

Ever wonder why you ever have to show your dog ever again? With a “friend” like this there is more competition going on OUTSIDE of the ring than in it!

My rating: Competition in the show ring: (4), Competition outside of the show ring: (1)

1 comment:

  1. LOL That was great. I'm thoroughly convinced that, while the toy breeders may have the market cornered on cliques, the GSD breeders have the market cornered on catty behavior, backstabbing, and "one upping" each other. I swear the humans have more "bitch fights" than the dogs!