THE MATCHMAKER

For all you single people in the breed...........

THE MATCHMAKER
By
Barbara J. Galasso

The young beautiful woman walks into the office of the famous matchmaker hoping that she will be able to help her find the man of her dreams. She’s a little nervous and embarrassed at first wondering if she is appearing desperate having to come to a matchmaker. She almost turns around to walk back out, but changes her mind knowing she’s been unsuccessful in finding the type of guy that she wants on her own.

The matchmaker beckons her to come in and take a seat so they can have a talk. She asks the young woman just what type of guy is she looking for. She reassures her that she will do her best to help her find him.

The young woman opens her pocketbook and pulls out a list that she has made of all the qualities that she is looking for. She tells the matchmaker that she is adamant about what she expects. She’s not willing to compromise in her requirements. These things she considers “must haves” in the guy of her dreams.
“Okay then”, the matchmaker says to her, “Tell me what it is that you are looking for.”

The young woman proceeds to read her the list of her requirements. “He must be tall, dark and handsome, race and religion aren’t important. He must be very rich and it would be nice if he had some kind of aristocratic background. Loyalty is high on my list of requirements, a one woman kind of guy, someone who is brave and willing to defend me, a good listener, and someone who is non-judgmental. He must be smart, and love me unconditionally. He must be someone who can put up with my mood swings, letting me come and go as I please. He should love to cuddle, and he must accept my two young children and not want anymore. He must be noble, someone I can be proud to be seen with and oh yes, he must have a good personality and make me laugh, and most importantly, he must worship me and put me before anyone else in his life.” she adds.

“Wow, “the matchmaker says. That’s some long list of expectations you have there. That’s a tall order to fill to find all those qualities in one guy. Are you sure that you’re not willing to be a little more flexible? This would give you a better chance of meeting that special someone,” she tries to explain to her. The young woman remains firm in her requirements and tells her there is no room for compromise. The matchmaker tells her she will see what she can do and she’ll be in touch but not to expect many matches that can meet all of her extraordinary requirements.

A week goes by and the young woman doesn’t hear anything from the matchmaker. So she calls the office to inquire about this. The matchmaker tells her she’s still working on it. This goes on for weeks and the young woman grows more and more frustrated and inpatient. The matchmaker asks her again, “Are you sure that you’re not willing to compromise on a few of your requirements? I have a few matches that have many of the requirements that you are looking for, but not all of them.” Once again, the young woman remains strong in her convictions. This is what she wants, and she’s not willing to change a thing.

Weeks go by. The matchmaker is becoming agitated with her client because no matter who she tries to match her with, they are never good enough for her. Again she suggests for her to be a little more flexible in her requirements because she’s never going to get everything in one guy. But no, the client remains strong in her requirements and is not willing to budge.

Three months go by and the telephone rings at the young client’s home. It’s the matchmaker. She tells the excited young woman to come to her office. She thinks she’s found her the perfect match. When she comes into the office, she sits in the chair in front of the matchmaker. She tells the young woman, “It took me some time to find you this special guy, but I’ve finally narrowed it down to one very special guy that meets all of your requirements. “That’s great, that’s great, the young woman says. Do tell me all about him,” she eagerly pleads.

“Well the matchmaker says, you said you wanted tall, dark and handsome. He is considered very handsome. You said race didn’t matter. He’s black. You said he must be very rich coming from an aristocratic background. I can tell you that he comes from Europe and has generations of his family still living there. He and his family are worth a lot of money. “Oh, what do they do?” asks the excited client. The matchmaker tells her they’re in the import business and have been for generations. You wanted someone who is loyal. This fellow is a one-woman type of guy. He’s fiercely loyal! You wanted someone who was brave and willing to defend you. This guy will defend you with his life. A good listener is another one of your requirements and someone who is non-judgmental. Well this guy will never judge you and will always think you’re right even when you may be wrong and he’ll always listen without judging you. He is very smart. In fact, in his social circle many believe him to come from the most intelligent of families. Unconditional love is what you want? Well you got it with this guy. He’ll be only yours for as long as you want him. If you’re moody, grumpy, and acting like a “princess,” he won’t mind. He’ll accept you for who you are. You want someone to cuddle with? Then you’ve come to the right place. This guy will give you all the love and affection your heart craves. He’ll love your children and play with them like they belong to him and not expect to have anymore kids than what you already have. You wanted someone who was noble and someone you could be proud to be seen with. Well when people see the two of you walking down the street, people will step aside and let the two of you pass out of respect for the reputation this guy commands. Doors will open for you when you’re seen with this guy! You wanted a good personality and someone you can laugh with. This guy can be so funny and from what I’m told, some of his antics will make you have tears running down your face. You want someone to worship and adore you and put you first in his life? Well, young woman that is what he lives for!”

The woman says this all sounds too good to be true. She says to her, “There must be some negatives about this guy. Do you know about any of his personality faults?” “Well, the matchmaker says, from what I’m told about him, he can be jealous and temperamental if he feels your affections for someone other than him is being shared. But other than that, I think you’ve got yourself an all-around good kind of a guy. Pretty near perfect if you ask me. After having met this guy, I know now why he is so popular. Everyone who meets him, likes him."

“Oh my God,” the young woman almost shouts out in her excitement. I can’t believe you found this guy for me, the one of my dreams!” “Yes I can’t believe it either," the matchmaker echoes what she says. It took me many long hours and weeks to try to figure out who would be just right for you. I’m good at my matchmaking skills and I have to be honest with you, I just didn’t know if I would be able to come up with all the qualities you were looking for in one guy. I didn’t know that he even existed. Anyway, enough of this small talk, she says. Are you ready to meet your perfect match?” “He’s here? the young woman asks in disbelief. Oh my goodness, how do I look? I didn’t know I’d meet him today.” “You look fine,” she tells the young woman. Remember you wanted someone non-judgmental, so I know he’s going to like you just the way you are.” “Okay then, the young woman says. Bring him in. I guess I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be."

The matchmaker opens the door and says to her assistant, “You can bring Mike in now." The young woman rearranges her dress, checks her lipstick, and shifts position in her chair nervously waiting for Mike to come through the door. The matchmaker turns to the young woman and says, “Let me introduce you to your perfect match according to your requirements. Say hello to Mike.” She opens the door a little wider and in walks a large, handsome black German Shepherd Dog who rushes over to the young woman and plants a wet, sloppy kiss on her cheek. The young woman faints.

Moral of the story: Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it. Don’t you just love a happy ending?